I think I’ve got a hypracondriatic kid on my hands. And needless to say, its driving me CRAZY!
Drama Queen (Ha! No surprise there) complains like crazy about this, that or the other. Earlier this year she was limping for a few days and complaining that her foot was hurting. She’d wake up crying. We tried cold packs, children’s pain reliever and nothing worked. Finally, Mister decided to take her to the doctor, where they x-rayed her foot. Diagnosis? Nothing. Nada. Zip. The doctor suggested possible growing pains and sent them home. Mister told her the next time we pay a $20 co-payment and nothing is wrong with her its coming out of her allowance.
From then to now its been other little things here and there, nothing too major that children’s Motrin, on the rare occasion, couldn’t fix. But last night she came to me and said that when she was flossing/cleaning between her teeth that her gums were bleeding in that spot. RIGHT NOW they’re bleeding, she said. Sighing, counting to ten and turning towards her I said, Its normal for gums to bleed on occasion. You need to brush and floss better/more frequently. They’re bleeding because they’re sensitive, its going to be OK, just go rinse your mouth and finish up. Looking at me with a look that said Did you not hear me? I’M DYING! YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ME ANYWAY! She walked away.
Twenty minutes later she came out of her room and told me she had a headache. Already after 9:00, which means she was now pissing me off because she was invading MY quiet time, the only 30 minutes a night which I give myself, I told her to go into the medicine cabinet and take one 200mg Ibuprofen and go to bed. This seemed to satisfy her and I didn’t hear another peep out of her.
This morning she gets up to shower, I’m in the bathroom putting on my make up and she announces I think I have an ear infection because my ear is KILLING me. Rolling my eyes I said Ok, don’t go swimming today and we’ll see how you feel. That seemed to make it all better. That was thirty minutes ago and if her ear was really KILLING her she would be in pain and not feeling well. Her ass looks perfectly fine, sitting on the couch watching cartoons. WTF?
We would go BROKE if we took this kid to the doctors each time she had an ache, tick or an itch! Is this normal or is she just the Drama Queen I’ve always felt she was? Sheesh. Sometimes I feel like she does it for attention. Damn, you’d think I didn’t hug her as a baby or sold her toys for crack to make her this needy. I don’t want to continue giving her Motrin or pain reliever each time she has an “ache” so I ask you were can I score some placebo? Or will Skittles trick a ten year old?
24 comments
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August 20, 2008 at 7:40am
Flyinfox_SATX
That’s a fine line. My son had these issues. I read him the story of the boy who cried wolf and told him what the story was about. He understood the ramifications. We talked about pain tolerance and when to realize that something was really wrong.
I also found out what he likes best in the world and use it as a trump card to deny him that when he feels sick. He knows that if he is pulling the “I’m feeling sick” routine that there are no video games in his immediate future.
My suggestion? Find out what she likes best. Watching cartoons and TV? Well, if she is too sick for school, then she is too sick for that.
Just a thought…..
August 20, 2008 at 8:44am
Jay
I used to work with a woman who was like that. Every single day she would come into work and there would be something new wrong with her. She was a really nice person, but that got old so fast.
My step-mother was even worse. But, I didn’t give a crap about her and she finally gave up trying to get any sympathy from me a long time ago.
August 20, 2008 at 10:02am
Cece
Flyin, my husbad does that to them, when they come home sick or don’t make it to school its a day spent in their room, in bed either sleeping or reading. Next day, needless to say, they’re back on their feet and ready for school.
Jay, I worked with a woman like that, too. But she was able to work the system by finding a doctor who’d take her out of work on extensive “stree” leaves. She’s only in her 20’s. Once she was released back to work she quit to stay home and have more babies. Niiiice.
August 20, 2008 at 10:47am
trishk
My daughter went through a spell where she didn’t want to be at school. She would twist her ankle at school, complain all day, limp like crazy..a little bit later she was fine. She had the school nurse calling me almost every day with this pain, not feeling good, that pain..
I finally told the school nurse, if she has a fever over 100 degrees call me. If there is a bone sticking out of her body somewher or blood squirting across the room, call me. If she pukes or poos all over, call me. Otherwise she can stay at school.
She never pulled that stuff at home because if you were sick, you stayed in bed, alone. No tv’s in their rooms, reading or sleeping. No visiting with brother or mom or dad either.
August 20, 2008 at 10:49am
Beej
You just reminded me of when I was 10 and we babysat a daughter of one of Mom’s bus driver friends for a week while this bus driver friend was on her honeymoon. The kid must’ve been 4-6 yrs old, I cannot remember. Anyway, my brother Kaz was 14 and playing with this little girl, and she bumped her head and immediately began to howl in pain. Kaz, in an unheard of 14 year old stroke of brilliance, scooped the girl up and rushed her to the medicine cabinet while telling her all about some miracle ointment that would cure the bump on her head.
He came back into the kitchen, propped her up on the counter to clean her tear streaked face with a wet paper towel after she’d stopped crying. I gave him the “What the hell?” look.
He mouthed, silently, over the girl’s shoulder as he hugged her “Vaseline” and nodded his head.
I wonder if his kids ever had the miracle ointment used on them. LOL.
August 20, 2008 at 11:23am
Craze
Damn, you just described Pedro.
August 20, 2008 at 11:28am
bxnycutie
my grandmother used to give me a miracle elixir that cures everything… Cod Liver Oil. It tasted so bad I never complained about ANYTHING unless I couldn’t bear it anymore.
August 20, 2008 at 11:34am
Heidi
Over the years I’ve had plenty of kids who cry wolf when they’re sick. This past year I had a little girl who would cry if you looked at her funny let alone when she tripped or had a hangnail. Some kids are just overly dramatic.
Find out what she likes and use that as a bargaining tool. At school if kids fake they’re sick I tell them they must be too sick for recess or playtime. That usually perks them up quickly.
August 20, 2008 at 12:02pm
Sue
Either really bad tasting stuff (like cod liver oil) or not letting her do certain activities would be my suggestions. My kids know that when they are too sick for school, they are too sick for xbox, friends, phone, tv, etc.
August 20, 2008 at 12:44pm
Slick
My sister was always like that. It was nothing to come home and find her arm with an ace bandage wrapped around it.
Mom never took her to the Doc’s unless she was crying, bleeding, or screaming bloody murder.
August 20, 2008 at 12:46pm
Cece
Trish, that’s what I’m going to have to tell the school nurse this year. Last year Mister & I made too many (IMO) trips to the school but it was for my little one, her immune system wasn’t use to all the germy other kids she was around. Hopefully this year will be a healthier one.
Beej, OMG that is fricken brilliant! I’m going to buy some of that & start rubbing it on EVERYTHING she compalins about! Headache? Rub some Vaseline on it! lol
Craze, see why I told you our kids can’t marry.
Bxnycutie, I’m going to have to look for that and keep it on hand. Nothing like crappy medicine to make a kid suck it up! Ha!
Heidi, I have NO idea why she’s like this, seems like she always has been. Maybe I hugged her too much as a baby. Dammit. lol
Sue, I just called to check on her & grandma didn’t even know she wasn’t “feeling well” (faker). When I asked her how she felt, she said Huh? lol Then I asked about her ear & she said Oh yeah, it still hurts. When I told her she needs to get better before Friday b/c if she was still sick she wasn’t going to be able to go to Palm Springs with us this weekend. all of a sudden its now down to Oh it mostly turns off & on (you know, comes/goes). Ah-ha. So hopefully by tonight it’ll be Off for good. Damn faker.
Slick, if she gets to that point I’m sending her to you as punishment for crying wolf.
August 20, 2008 at 1:36pm
Summer
Has school started? Maybe stress related? Avoidance of something? That’s all I got.
August 20, 2008 at 4:57pm
beth
no…she’s just a Drama Queen…plain and simple! I’m sure you gave/give her enough attention. My youngest boy is like that too…he cut his finger the other day. It was deep, but didn’t need “attention”…well, you would have thought he was going to bleed to death and I was the most horrible mother in the whole wide world, cuz I wouldn’t take him to the ER!!!! “Oh the pain!” “It hurts so bad!”..”THE PAIN!!!!!”
I say, dope ‘em up with an advil and sent them to bed!
August 20, 2008 at 5:19pm
Carrie
Have you just sat down with her and had a face to face? It probably is just hormones but I se your frustration.
*hugs*
August 20, 2008 at 7:25pm
Barb
I remember as a child I would FREAK OUT if I saw blood coming out of any part of my body. My brother told me he was wondering when I got older how I was going to handle having my period!
I don’t have kids so I really don’t have any advice. I’m thinking maybe give her baby aspirin?
August 20, 2008 at 8:54pm
foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)
My oldest son went through a period where there was always something hurting, or some kind of ache bothering him. Because he so rarely ever complained about not feeling well, we were inclined to believe him and would check him over like freaks. Then it got to be too much, and it always seemed to kick in around the time he’d gone to bed. AHA! Diagnosis! A serious case of stall-itis!
Lately, he’s been infliction and infection free, but I bet we’re in for some growing pains problems soon. He’s sprouting!
Thanks for coming over and visiting my blog this week. I appreciate that, and the comment!
August 20, 2008 at 9:22pm
Amie
Sounds like an Hispanic family to me…My ma used to say you better be dieing if I take you to the doctor..Okay Ma I just have strep throat which can make you loose your kidneys if left untreated…that is it I know that I am going to die an early death because of my mother…
Sound familiar…sorry…
try some Ibuprofen and some chocolate..maybe she just wants some attention…I know my son pretends like he is dieing if I don’t pretend to care about every little scratch on his body…Who knew..
Tell her to put some vics and take a seven up coarse you could give her some benadrly to help her sleep…teheee..
J/K…Kids arn’t they fun
August 21, 2008 at 1:33am
Jay
Yup, total call for attention. She’ll stop when she figures out it isn’t working.
August 21, 2008 at 4:06am
Gnightgirl
Hey, I could save the placebo pills out of my birth control pack for ya! You could give ‘em a lot of hype about how they make you feel great, and then–here’s the key–tell her she can’t have one!
All kidding aside, well..I don’t have any real advice. A friend’s daughter went through a phase when she was younger, where she figured out the school would call her Mom, send her home sick. I think she eventually began to believe she really was sick, and things escalated quite a bit. It wasn’t until the doctors suggested that the next stop was a psychiatrist that there was a bit of a turn-around in her health issues. She’d rather have been healthy than crazy!
August 21, 2008 at 8:14am
Karen
It is such a fine line. If you she is not sick and just needing a little attention, that is one thing. But I would be scared to death that something was actually wrong if I ignored it. In the end you know your daughter the best and you have to use your judgment.
August 21, 2008 at 5:27pm
Margi
We agree, a placebo is what is needed here. A sugar pill will often do the trick, without the risk of side effects and unecessary expense. That’s why we got it together to make placebos available for sale to the general public.
There is a lot more to be discovered about the placebo effect, especially in the area of self- healing and administration of placebos. There is a growing discussion about beneficial effects of doctors giving placebos, even when both they and the patient know they are placebos.
We have experienced placebos working when taken as a support to one’s intentions for well being and relief from symptoms, and they work so well for children who need that extra bit of attention . . . some of our young users call them”magic pills” or “angel pills”!
If you are curious check out the testimonials on our website: http://www.placebo.com.au
August 21, 2008 at 8:15pm
Angie
Don’t give in to it!! My 18 yo is the biggest hypochondriac you’ve ever seen. I can’t wait for her to go to college so I don’t have to hear about whatever her latest ailment is. I’m accused of ‘not caring’ about my kids either b/c I don’t run to the Dr. every minute they get a scrape.
Wait until they are paying their own bills – then they won’t take off running there all the time!
August 21, 2008 at 9:21pm
Cece
Margi, seriously, I will be ordering some of those b/c I KNOW a lot of her “ailments” are in the head/attention based. I don’t want to give her a Motrin each time she “aches” yet at the same time I won’t pay a copayment for each “headache” she has. As she matures, IMO, she will learn to manage pain. Thanks so much for the info site.
Angie, can kids of the age of 10 be shipped to college???
August 24, 2008 at 5:38pm
Margi
No worries Cece . . . pleased to pass the information on to anyone who could benefit.
We would love to hear how you get on through our contact page on the site so we can pass this info on to others. We figure that saving our children (and ourselves) from any unecessary medication and unwanted side effects and expense has to be a good thing!
Best wishes
Margi (for the Universal Placebos team)