Oh wait. That’s right, I’m American (according to my dad lol). No wonder this irks me.
My cousin is having a Quinceanera for her daughter early next Spring. When we heard she booked the hall and it was a sure thing Mister and I grumbled Oh God. We knew it would be a matter of time before we were asked to be a sponsor. And guess what? I got an email (she couldn’t even do it in person!) this morning asking if Mister and I would be the sponsors (also called Padrino’s) for the guest book and pen. Its a $20 book and pen set, of course I’m going to say Yes. But I can just hear Mister I’m not Catholic why should I pay for anything! He’s cheap at times. And he’s Mormon. That explains a lot.
Ok, this is what gets me, having a Quinceanera is not a cheap event. It can run in the same neighborhood as a small wedding or an elaborate Sweet 16. There are some people who feel they should get as many padrino’s as they can. Translation: Get others to pay for your daughter’s entire party! This IRKS ME!
I can’t help but think If you can’t afford this ELABORATE party then don’t have it! Wouldn’t that be the same as us asking our invited wedding guests to pay for my shoes, flowers, invitations, cake, thank you notes, jewelry, dress and reception site? Why doesn’t she just pay for it all herself and charge admission to the party, she’ll probably come up ahead that way! I know there are some families who just can’t afford this sort of event so everyone pulls together and offers assistance, for the girl. That’s fine and I see nothing wrong with that. But to be asked (emailed at work) for contributions for a specific item? That just passed 100% on my tacky radar.
We’re not surprised, though, because this is the same cousin who was getting married, couldn’t afford her wedding site, five days before the wedding, and had to pull a back yard wedding together at my aunts house last minute. The wedding and reception were nice, great weather and I like the idea of a wedding at home. But we started getting frantic phone calls from my grandma, days before, asking for us all to buy/bring food, booze, decorations and/or pitch in money for their wedding. I’m totally not kidding either.
I’m just glad they haven’t baptized their two youngest boys yet, lord knows what the admission price will be to that party.
19 comments
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June 27, 2008 at 6:35am
Shar
I’m so with you. Generally, anyone who directly asks me for money pisses me off, unless it’s for a charity or something that benefits others IN NEED. I’m going to stop now because I could rant for a good hour on this.
June 27, 2008 at 7:17am
Sue
I’m with you, that would piss me off. Kids need to learn early on to live within their own means, and this is not teaching them that.
June 27, 2008 at 7:43am
Jay
Yeah, that would be annoying. Maybe she could have gone Starr Jones and just had all kinds of corporate sponsors, like Starr did for her wedding. You know, the Visa Guest book, the Nike dance floor, the Whole Foods buffet etc. haha
June 27, 2008 at 7:49am
auntiegwen
sweetie I have not a clue about what that this q spelt funny thing is, but I agree with you
June 27, 2008 at 7:49am
The Diva's Thoughts
Girl I am so with you on this!
June 27, 2008 at 8:46am
Laurel
If you are a sponsor are you expected to bring a gift in addition to the item you purchase?
I just don’t understand all these big, elaborate celebrations: bar/bat mitvahs, sweet 16s etc for teenagers! I like the idea of celebrating the transition to adulthood, but why spend so much?
June 27, 2008 at 8:54am
Cece
Shar, back in the days of “the board” I brought this up, too. Yes, after all these years, this still bugs me. lol
Sue, you’re totally right about living within their means. Nice example you’re setting, MOM.
Jay, now that’s an idea!
Auntiegwen, you’re so cute. lol
Diva, I knew you would agree.
Laurel, I hope to hell they’re not expecting a gift b/c its not happening.
June 27, 2008 at 9:44am
Angie
I just heard a story on this very thing yesterday on NPR. The new thing is for people to ask guests to help pay for their weddings! WTF?? Is this just a way for people to live outside their means and expect everyone else to help out?
I’m with you – if you can’t afford it – forget it. You can have just as nice a party on a low-key level and not be known as the tackiest person in the world.
This is nuts, in my book.
June 27, 2008 at 12:29pm
Beej
I understand the concept of having these padrinos support the girl on this event. Conceptually it’s a nice idea. Though I can imagine how it could get weird when you’re asking for people to sponsor different aspects of the party.
But I am with you. Why not just go to the event and bring the girl a nice gift instead, or cash to fatten up her college fund?
June 27, 2008 at 12:55pm
Lael
Wow…just wow.
I like the idea of the party thing though,that’s neat.
Our North American culture lacks celebrations and cool traditions like that.
June 27, 2008 at 1:07pm
Lisa
That must be a latin thing b/c I know some people that are just like that and they are not Mexican. To be honest, I hate people like that.. You’re right, if you can’t afford, why have it????? People have some nerves ASKING for shit!
June 27, 2008 at 2:29pm
Mamarazzi
yea i think stuff like this is super nervy, but when it comes to family i usually just do my “duty” and complain behind their backs…its a win/win for everyone that way. lol
thanks for stopping by my blog. i am always curious how people find me. what brought you there? come again soon i love new bloggy friends!
June 28, 2008 at 6:07pm
Slick
LOL….awww man, you know I gotta comment here..
I wanna be just like them
June 29, 2008 at 7:52am
Ann
ug. My stepsister is the queen of throwing parties she can’t afford. And then she borrows from my parents to pay her mortgage b/c of the party she just threw. It’s so irritating!!
June 29, 2008 at 3:58pm
Gino
i think the whole Q thing has lost its true meaning anyway, and today is done because families/friends expect it for some reason. but nobody seems to expect that the girl has followed the strictures of the old ways that created the meaning behind Q, and all the expense that goes with it.
seriously, how many girls wait until they’re 15 to have a first date in mexico culture? or save their virginity for their wedding night as is promised to the Blesssed Mother as part of the Q ceremony?
unless the family is very traditional, and i mean socially as to keeping a tight riegn on their duaghters (and sons), the whole Q is a sham.
June 30, 2008 at 7:52am
Heidi
That is super tacky to ask for money for a specific item or to ask for money at all. If you can’t afford the party, don’t throw it!!!
The school I teach at is full of people who are throwing or attending elaborate parties. A couple years ago one of my kids went to New York for a bat mitzvah…the parents spent over 100K on this party!!! That to me is absolutely insane.
July 2, 2008 at 7:09am
Carrie
How rude!
July 2, 2008 at 2:54pm
Aimee
seriously, if you can’t afford it forget it. and if you think it’s necessary for the kid to have something like that and you can’t afford it – then don’t have kids.
And also, when Mark and I get married, I’d really like you to pay for my dress. okay?
July 7, 2008 at 2:45pm
Craze
Hmm.. can I have a Quinceanera for Pedro on his next birthday? lol
I’m with you on this one, that totally sucks.