Dear PMS water pill making company,

I have to say that your water pill with PMS relieving ingredients have been the best thing to cross my lips since tequila.  I love how within thirty minutes I’m feeling much better, less pain, cramps or irritability.  Not to mention my jeans begin to feel more welcoming than they were when I was housing eight pounds of water weight gain.  Thanks a million!

However, (and I really hate to be the however girl but I’ve got no choice) why in the fuck would you make a PMS relieving pill and put it in individually DOUBLE wrapped foils?  What the fuck is wrong with you?  Yeah yeah yeah don’t give me that tamper proof crap line.  Oh!  Oh!  Oh I think I KNOW how that came about.   This company is owned and operated by men, right?   By men who probably sat around a product development meeting, drinking beer and smoking cigars, saying Hmmm its to ease the pain and suffering of women, but how can we fuck with them?  How can we get pay back on the species that our wives belong to and NOT get bitch slapped with a frying pan when we don’t call her honey at “that time of the month”?  What can we do to OTHER women and not our wives?   That’s when some man came up with the idea of DOUBLE wrapping EACH pill individually!  You bastard.

Have you ever seen a woman suffering from cramps, bloating, headaches, irritability and backaches at the same time trying to fold down the stupid perforated corner of the packet, while trying to peel the first layer of paper off to get to the SECOND layer where the pretty purple pill is imprisoned beneath?  Its not a pretty sight.   Leave her there long enough, struggling, one of two things will happen either you’re going to find a floor full of half open pill casing because she wasn’t able to get to the magical pill or she’s going to tear the medicine cabinet apart looking for the tiny scissors to STAB the back of the pill wrapper just to get to it as quickly as possible.  And trust me, if she resorts to the scissor method I hope there is not a man in the house because she’ll go looking for him, manicure scissors in hand.

In conclusion I’d like to say, again, how I love that beautiful purple pill but I’m making a suggestion to put all the damn pills in an easy to access bottle! 

Love,

PMS’ing Cece