It never fails, just as I’m a mere two days away from being out of the office, relaxing and having fun with my family work gets hectic!  Why is that?  Why?  Why do my reps suddenly become mindless, helpless beings that can’t do shit for themselves?  Why is it that my phone can go almost an entire week without ringing but two days from a four day weekend I’ve had more voice mails than I’ve had all month?  Why is it that my Outlook is constantly full this week?  And on a completely different topic, why the fuck am I cramping like a PMS woman when I JUST got off my damn period five days ago?  WHY WHY WHY?

It really sucks that I can’t walk to the break room fridge, reach in and pull out a beer.  It sucks that I can’t drink at my desk, even if its only for two fifteen minute breaks a day!  Hell I wouldn’t mind if they ONLY let us drink beer at work and not the hard stuff! That’d be nice huh?

Oh man, I could only imagine the conversations I’d have, while buzzed, with my customers:  What?  You don’t want to buy our house brand products?  *thinking I’m whispering* Between Me and You I don’t fuuucken blame you!  They’re really not worth it!  I got to (insert competitors name here) to buy my (what we sell) because I know how cheaply made our shit is!     

Or something along these lines:  So what did you do this weekend?  *not really listening* Well, this weekend my husband and I got TORE UP in Vegas, again!  BAWAHAHAHAHA *because I get loud when drinking*  This time I talked him into visiting a male strip bar with me!   Hey!   Its only fair since he took me to a female strip joint once!  What’s that?  Oh yeah!  He sure did buy me a lap dance!  Then we went back to our room and… Oh shit..I just spilled my beer on my damn keyboard again!   I’ll have to call you back, ho!

Now that I think about it, it might be a good policy that we’re not allowed to drink at work, huh?    But that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m thinking about a nice cold Margarita with dinner tonight.