Which is worse, an emotional or physical affair? Is one more damaging than the other? Is one more forgiving than the other? Where does cross the line from innocent flirting to damaging their relationship? What is your opinion on this?
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23 comments
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August 29, 2007 at 7:40pm
Frazzled Farm Wife
I think they are both equally damaging!
August 29, 2007 at 7:46pm
The "Mind"
I’m with Frazzled. Both are equally damaging in my eyes, but not in everyone’s.
August 29, 2007 at 7:55pm
Craze
Girlfriend, I just went through this exact thing. I almost think an emotional affair is worse. The ultimate betrayal is when someone you love confides in and opens up to another woman. I don’t know how you get over that. ((HUGS))
August 29, 2007 at 7:58pm
Jenny!
I think both are equally damaging!
August 29, 2007 at 7:59pm
Jenny!
But I think the emotional connection is harder to get over…physical transgressions can be worked thorugh, but emotional is harder to fix in a relationship.
August 29, 2007 at 8:29pm
Slackermommy
The emotional affair. Emotional needs aren’t being met if someone falls into an emotional affair. You can have sex and not feel anything beyond the physical aspect of it. I would be more upset if my hubby had an emotional affair because I’d be afraid it means he is falling out of love with me or is getting what I can’t give him from someone else.
August 29, 2007 at 8:44pm
Willow
I’m wondering if I shouldn’t do a whole post on this issue, with all my past experiences. In brief, I think both are extremely damaging. However, emotional attachment is harder to get over than if your SO gets drunk and has sex with a random woman. I can forgive a random hookup much quicker than my SO having a female friend he thinks he may be in love with.
August 29, 2007 at 8:45pm
Webmiztris
they’re both bad. who’s having an affair???
August 29, 2007 at 8:49pm
Samantha_K
Both are bad.
My feelings about it would depend on the situation.
You see, I am quick to forgive, but I never, ever forget.
August 29, 2007 at 9:26pm
Christina_the_wench
Man, they both mess you up pretty good. That’[s all I’m saying without my lawyer present.
*looks around*
August 29, 2007 at 10:12pm
Char
I think they are equally bad news.
August 29, 2007 at 10:21pm
L Sass
I think they are both completely damaging and difficult to deal with. At some point, it really doesn’t matter if the relationship is consummated.
August 29, 2007 at 10:31pm
Carrie
Emotional is worse.
When Adam and I broke up one time, he was f*cking some chick and it hurt but nothing like when he told me he thought he loved her.
August 30, 2007 at 12:29am
Kevin
I think that emotional would be worse than the physical. That’s not to say that a physical affair is acceptable, I just personally believe an emotional one is more damaging.
One can…justify?… (although that is so NOT the right word)a physical affair by boiling it down to “I was horny, I got hard/I got wet, my hiney parts were all a tingle and I just needed to get my rocks off!” True, the person should have stopped whatever was going on before that part, but it could just be all about the fuck.
An emotional affair, i think, would be more damaging because that is something that is cultivated over time. That’s like the person choosing another person over you.
August 30, 2007 at 1:15am
mom of 2
I think they are both damaging and would either would be very hard to forgive! I agree with the others though that emotional would be a tougher one to deal with. Yikes…I hope this isn’t something you are dealing with!!
August 30, 2007 at 2:03am
*~*Cece*~*
Frazzled, I agree.
Mind, I know what you mean.
Craze, I know, girl. You’re a survivor.
Jenny, the sucky thing about physical is the mental movie that plays over & over in your mind.
Slacker, I’d be crushed if I thought my husband was falling out of love with me.
Willow, now you’ve got a good blog post idea!
Web, no one is having an affair.
Samantha, I don’t forget either. Its one of my curses as a Cancer woman.
Christina, ain’t that the truth. Ugh.
Char, bad news is one way to describe it! lol
Sass, you’re right, what does it matter if its been consummated after the emotions have surfaced.
Carrie, OUCH! That stings. I know, I’ve been on the receiving end of that once myself. Except I was told “I like her because she’s NICE!” Dude, how do you compete with Nice? Fuck me.
Kevin, I think you hit the nail on the head. You’re right, emotional means more time invested. Whereas physical is just a fuck & run. Terrible.
Mo2, we’re alright, thanks for asking.
August 30, 2007 at 7:10am
Autumn
Emotional affairs are sometimes only fantasy and soon forgotten, physical is just that..a betrayl of the body. It is the ablity to forgive that is important. Without forgiveness the relationship can not be saved. Both people have to be willing to make a change. The cheater must recommit and the one being cheated on to let it go and they both have to rebuild the relationship they had before the affair. I hope you don’t mind my 2 cents worth, since I normally don’t comment on your blog.
August 30, 2007 at 7:22am
Kerry
I think they’re both pretty damaging.
August 30, 2007 at 7:29am
laughingattheslut
I’m surprised how many people think that physically cheating isn’t as bad. Sometimes you accidently fall in love with someone else. You don’t accidently pull down your pants and have sex with them.
And the person who physically cheated on you cares so little about you that you’ve been exposed to STDs, and you might end up with AIDS or cancer. How is that better than an emotional relationship?
And why does anyone believe that physical affair wasn’t emotional too? Why would someone risk their health and their relationship by having an affair with someone they didn’t care anything about?
August 30, 2007 at 7:49am
*~*Cece*~*
Autumn, Thank You for putting your 2 cents in, girl! Thank you! I love seeing/reading other peoples thoughts on life. Please, comment more, you’ve got a lot to offer!
Kerry, you’re right, they’re both very damaging.
Laughing, I hadn’t thought of that, the STD’s. Guess 10 years has my brain sheltered. You’re right, too, about a physical relationship being emotional as well. Guess we think that its one or the other. So wrong.
August 30, 2007 at 5:49pm
Beej
I actually think an emotional one is worse. When you look around you see very attractive people everywhere you look, so to me I imagine the physical attraction can be gotten over more easily.
But I think that an emotional connection would be harder to get over. I would constantly wonder if he was thinking of the other person, and missing that connection that he had with someone he felt understood him so well.
August 30, 2007 at 7:17pm
Jen
I read all the posts….thought awhile and left. Came back and thought I would add my advice. First….Autumn is right.
Emotional and Physical are both wrong. My opinion is if you cannot forgive and forget you are only hurting yourself. I know easier said than done….but its truth.
If Scott was falling in love with someone else it would kill me. I also believe and I think you know this…about me…prayer helps a whole lot on forgiving.
August 30, 2007 at 8:09pm
Slick
They are both wrong and one is just as damaging as the other. In my opinion that is.