Yesterday I read a post on Webmiztris blog and it totally reminded me of a funny story I thought I’d share rather than hog up her comment box.
When I was in jail (can’t tell you which time) I remember a bunch of us sitting around with nothing to do (Duh) and of course the natural thing to talk about is what you did to get your dumb ass busted.
There were ladies there on probation violations, embezzling, robbery and drug charges, to name a few.
At the time I was living in Long Beach with my drug dealing boyfriend. We were dealing pretty heavily so I had seen my fair share of fucked up people. Over the 5 years together I had only seen black people on crack. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prejudice person. No, I think the reason was becasue of the part of Long Beach we lived it. It wasn’t the rich part of LB. So running with druggies that’s what I saw.
Well I remember talking to this white chick. She was clean looking. She was an average looking white girl. Not all tore up and strung out looking. So average that you probably wouldn’t notice her.
Well, the reason why the cops did notice her is because she was a common crackhead up in Long Beach. When she told me she was arrested for posession of crack I think my jaw droped and hit the cold concrete ground. I was totally stunned because I had never seen a white crackhead! Did that make me a sheltered druggie? Hmmm…
Anyway, she said one of her charges was being in posession of TWO crack pipes. I was like Who the fuck needs, or CARRIES, two crack pipes??? Come to find out this dumb ass had one tube pipe with crack in it. She saw the cops rolling up and knew they were going to mess with her. While the pipe was in her pocket she figured she had time to break it and give them the empty half of the pipe, they’d take it from her, ticket her and send her feinding ass on her way then she’d be free to get high. Guess what? That didn’t happen. Nope. Instead they charged her with posession of TWO crack pipes!
I think that was one of the funniest stories I came out of jail with.

12 comments
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May 22, 2007 at 5:26pm
EC
LOL – Well not only is she a white crackhead, but she is a stupid white crackhead
Great story!
May 22, 2007 at 5:35pm
The "Mind"
A sheltered druggie…LMAO!
Was she blonde? I’m just sayin’…
Oh, and I almost took a picture of our local Home Depot. Can you believe it, not one day worker standing outside. Not one. See, this is why I’m a sheltered Home Depot shopper and am fascinated by the day workers.
May 22, 2007 at 6:26pm
Craze
A sheltered druggie?? LOL
I’ve seen a lot of druggies in my day, most of them white. Weird.
May 22, 2007 at 6:52pm
L Sass
Hee, I love that she just got herself in even more trouble…
May 22, 2007 at 7:07pm
Carrie
I’m sheltered too. I still don’t know the in’s and outs. Is crack Meth? That is what is super big here. Most are white. We don’t see a lot of black people. They live out north. The Mexican’s live East but they like us because we don’t rat on them. And I can’t imagine any of them doing drugs. Hardest working people I know.
I didn’t know you got arrested for drugs. I’ve never been arrested. I got picked up a few times but was released on the spot because I am such a good girl.
So you see I came from a heavy duty drug addict/dealer and yet don’t know shit about it. I was just a pot head growing up, well until I met Adam.
I loved your story. That sucks for her.
May 22, 2007 at 7:40pm
Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom"
See, and I’ve only known white druggies. Amazing world we live in….
May 22, 2007 at 10:50pm
Augs Casa
JAIL BAIT!!! ha ha ha
about 3-4 miles from I live there are white hooker/crackheads. man, talk about ugly. what happened to the Julia Robertlooking hookers??
May 22, 2007 at 11:03pm
Cece
EC, I think anyone on crack is stupid PERIOD. lol
Mind, she was a blonde. LMAO What? No Messican’s outside HD? WTF?
Craze, the white druggies in my day were all tweakers. Girl, I can spot a tweaker a mile away!
Sass, some people just don’t learn.
Carrie, I’m glad you were never busted. It sucks big time. Seriously.
Janet, wonder if its a regional thing? Hmmm…
Augs, you’ve GOT to ask Mind to show you the picture of the hooker we saw walking down the street when they were here in March! OMG! We were JUST about to get on the freeway & start our drive to Mexico when we saw this chick. Geezus…
May 22, 2007 at 11:31pm
Ms.L
*snort* Ohh I’m laughing my ass off!
I’ve never been to jail..how I pulled that one off I’ll never know;)
May 23, 2007 at 1:32am
Beehive Goddess
Augs, here is the hooker picture Cece is talking about.
LA Hooker.
May 23, 2007 at 4:29am
Webmiztris
yeah, I never leave home without my backup crack pipe. it’s just common sense, ya know?
May 23, 2007 at 5:28am
Dixie
What a dip shit!
I got arrested once for public drunk and minor in posession. Thank the sweet baby Jesus that I was only 15. I got probation for six months.