ME! Can I honor myself with an award? Is it P.C. to do so? Well, either way its mine, I earned it and I’m owning it!
Yesterday was payday for me. I got up early to have coffee and do bills. When I say early I mean I was at my computer paying bills and balancing my check book at 5:25 a.m.
Mister and I keep separate bank accounts. We each have our own bills we came into the marriage with and its just less hassle if we do it this way. It works this way, don’t hassle me.
Well, our car insurance was due on 5/15. Since it was due before payday Mister just paid it and I wrote him a check for it. After I wrote the check and saw that he had paid it I took all the stuff in the insurance envelope over to the shredder and began to shred the paid bill.
But the shredder began to jam because there was just too much paper to shred all at once. So I reverse the shred, go over to the waste basket, cut the couple of inches of shredded paper that did make it through and split the stack of papers in half.
That is when I realized what I had just done. I had just shredded Mister’s new insurance card for his truck! Fuuuuck is what came out of my mouth at that moment. Shit! Was next. What do I do now? Crap! Um. Hmmm. Realizing there was only one thing I could do. I stuffed the remaining half of his insurance card in my purse and began getting ready for work.
Shamefully, I had to call the insurance agent and ask if they could send him another card. They asked His card didn’t come with your renewal notice? That’s odd. Dammit. I know this lady KNOWS she sent me the card. I KNOW she threw in the that’s odd just to see what kind of lie I would tell her. I knew I was busted and I had to come clean (besides I’m a sucky liar). I told her the truth, that I shredded his card. She chuckled and immediately switched her tune from snotty to understanding. Said she’d get me a new card in the mail today (thank Gawd!) and I should have it by Monday.
Last night I told him what I did and, naturally, he laughed at me.

13 comments
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May 19, 2007 at 7:26pm
shell
i heart you. i have totally done the same thing. and i love love love that you labeled your post deedeedee.
May 20, 2007 at 2:21am
The "Mind"
Dee dee dee is right!
Are they gonna raise your dee dee dee-ductible now? LMAO! I had to use it. I am allotted one zinger a year and dammit, I’m going to use that bitch til she’s dry.
May 20, 2007 at 6:42am
Jay
You rock for getting her on your side – at my insurance at least, we have to pay to replace cards!
May 20, 2007 at 4:26pm
Kerry
Omg, I would have done the same thing, lol!!!!
May 20, 2007 at 6:10pm
Lindsey
DEE DEE DEE
The other day I got the little stickers that say the new expiration date for my car registration…the ones that get stuck on the licence plates over the old date. Well I thought, oh, I guess I can throw away this silly paper that the stickers came on. I had pretty much just put it in the garbage when I decided to look at it one more time. Oh, it was the actual registration! You know, the one the officer asks for if you get pulled over. DEE DEE DEE
May 20, 2007 at 7:01pm
Sassy Momma
Ohh, I have shredded so many important papers. I get into this shredding kick and I swear if J’s old tshirts would fit through the slot, they’d be gone too.
May 20, 2007 at 7:24pm
Cece
Shell, there was no other label that was as appropriate as deededee!
Mind, har-har-har. lol
Jay, that sucks to have to pay for a pice of paper like that. Ugh.
Kerry, glad I’m not the only one.
Lindsey, I HAVE thrown away my registration before! With my first car, I drove a year w/o registration! Thank god I never got pulled over!
Sassy, I can totally see you on a shredding kick! lol
May 20, 2007 at 10:01pm
Carrie
Happens all the time. I send out probably 10 replacement cards a day. When they start to tell “their little stories”, I just say “Oh that little fairy that lives in your glove box stole them again?” LOL
Don’t sweat it!
May 21, 2007 at 6:04am
Webmiztris
lol! i can’t totally see myself doing the same damn thing!
May 21, 2007 at 7:05am
Dorky Dad
That sounds exactly like something I would do.
Actually, I would have probably put my fingers through the shredder. Those things scare the hell out of me.
May 21, 2007 at 9:19am
Kevin
One night, a couple of months after having our first child, I was boiling the bottles, nipples, breast pump equipment, etc. Well, I got too carried away goofing around on the computer and the next thing I knew, the smoke alarm was going off. All the water in the pot had boiled away and I was left with a bunch of partially melted plastic in the bottom of the pot and a smokey kitchen.
May 21, 2007 at 4:57pm
Cece
Carrie, that’s ritght, you’re in the insurance business, you’ve heard it all, huh? lol
Web, just must be one of those things.
Dorky, Welcome! Shredders scare, me too.
Kevin, I’ve heard that melting baby bottles is a right of passage as new parents. Welcome to the club!
May 21, 2007 at 5:36pm
L Sass
Oh man, that is so something I would do… Three cheers for airhead moments!