Or is that even possible?
What I want to talk about is memory.
Do all men have a bad memory or just a selective one? If its selective, what determines the things they choose to remember? Does it have to benefit them in order for it to be worth remembering? If so, don’t you think that is a bit selfish? Childish?
Is it a gene the males carry that us women don’t? The gene to forget quicker than a woman or say an average person? Or could it be comparative to when they say boys mature later than girls. You know, we mature first and remember longer. What is it? Can you explain it? Is there any explanation for why men are so damn forgetful?
Twice this week I have asked him for two very simple favors and he didn’t follow through with either of them.
Yesterday afternoon Mister called me about noon. He told me he would be leaving work around 2:00. I told him that I needed to get an address from our address book, on the computer desk, and asked that as soon as he got home, and before getting comfortable and napping, if he would please call me with that info so I could drop my parcel in the mail on the way home. Sure! No problem! Is what I received from that request.
2:00 came and went, no phone call. 3:00 came and went, no phone call. By 3:15 I called the house and got no answer. One of two things was happening: 1- He was on the computer and since we’ve got dial up service (I know. I know.) he’s not able to receive calls or 2- he was already asleep and just wasn’t answering the phone.
So I emailed him and got no response, I knew he was napping. Naturally I became irritated.
As soon as I got home, I got the address I needed, changed into my gym clothes, grabbed my keys and headed to the post office to buy a stamp for it. I get to the post office, on the corner of my block, to realize their stamp machine area has already closed. Fuck. Its his fault! You know that, right? If he would’ve called me when I asked him to, I could have addressed it and stopped at the post office BEFORE 5:30!
Now I’m even more irritated pissed. I head to the park and walk off the steam. (Did you know anger makes for a good work out?!)
This morning I grabbed TWO $.39 stamps and adhered them to the envelope and dropped it in the mail. I could have ran into the post office to buy one $.02 stamp, but I didn’t. I used two regular stamps because my husband is a cheapskate and I knew this would irk him. Guess what? It did. lol
While at the park I asked myself questions about the incident: Is he just getting old and forgetful? Is 41 1/2 years old the time when a man begins to loose his memory? If its not old age, then is it he just doesn’t deem the simple favors important enough to stop what he’s doing to complete them? Does he just not give a fuck? Does he think I’m not important enough to help me when I call on him? What is it?
22 comments
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May 17, 2007 at 8:49pm
Craze
That’s like asking why is tke sky blue or the grass green….
I have no freaking clue.
May 17, 2007 at 8:53pm
The "Mind"
I think it is a combination of things and not necessarily related to his Y chromosome.
1. Admittedly it probably wasn’t high on his priority list.
2. He needed to do it at a time he was tired.
3. Who knows what had happened at work that he needed to deal with between when you called and when he left.
4. He probably didn’t write it down (if Pman doesn’t write it down, it doesn’t get done…not even his own stuff).
I’m sure there are plenty of other reasons that can be tossed in there, those are just a few off the top of my head.
And can I say how much I am laughing over the fact that you specifically used two 39 cent stamps to piss him off…and that it did. LMAO!
May 17, 2007 at 8:57pm
Cece
Craze, thanks I knew I could count on you! lol
Mind, you know him b/c Pman is the same way! Oy. Oh & how you said if its not written down he doesn’t do it. I wrote down, on the day he didn’t do the first errand for me, DON’T FORGET TO STOP AT GRANDPA’S HOUSE! I don’t think he likes my “reminders” all over the fucken place but FUCK! If he would REMEMBER shit then I wouldn’t have to treat him like a gotdamn kid!
Yeah, I knew the stamp thing would get under his skin. *giggle* I know its childish, but who cares. lol
May 17, 2007 at 9:04pm
Carrie
I have told Adam for a few days that I was going to watch a movie and he has asked me 4 times what it is and what it is about. It is f*cking Monster-In-Law! Dumbass.
I read your blog to him and he said it is selective. He said he doesn’t know why. He said that it isn’t because of things that benefit them but just doesn’t matter.
I read in a book that men thing on a different level. They don’t pay any attention to day to day things. Just long term things. We on the other hand are more wired to think for today, tomorrow and the next and not so much later on.
May 17, 2007 at 9:35pm
L Sass
I think this is normal, but, um, ANNOYING!
Last Friday, AS was exhausted from a terrible week at work, but managed to do laundry when he got home. I came over and LET HIM SLEEP ON THE COUCH, while I folded all of his laundry. When he work up, I said, “Now all you have to do is put everything in the drawers.”
It is now Thursday. The neatly-folded laundry is STILL sitting out.
May 17, 2007 at 9:46pm
Beej
I think Todd could write a similar post about me.
Crap, I have to call the vet. I forgot! Dammit! Gotta go!
May 17, 2007 at 10:02pm
Ms.L
My husband is the SAME way!
I’ve found if you tease the hell out of them about their shitty memory,then give them another chance all the while threatening to KILL them if they forget,they make an effort to remember..or ELSE!
;p
Mine does anyways,he doesn’t want to prove me right but we all know I am and it’ll only be a matter of time before he forgets again,and I make myself a widow!
I think it’s just a personality flaw.
May 18, 2007 at 12:32am
Cece
Carrie I’m glad you got Adam’s side of it. Thanks.
Sass, its so annyoing, isn’t it? My MIL never taught my man how to refill the ice trays. Go figure.
Beej, go make that appointment already! lol
MsL, I’m chalking it up to a personality flaw. Ugh.
May 18, 2007 at 12:54am
Carrie
Cece-Ice trays? (rolling eyes) I had to teach Adam how to make the bed the other day.
May 18, 2007 at 1:06am
Cece
Yup. Ice trays. And he’s the ONLY one who uses them b/c he drinks soda in a glass w/ice instead of grabbing a can. The only time I use ice is for Baccardi so those mutha’s better be filled by Friday night! lol
May 18, 2007 at 2:49am
The "Mind"
I’ll admit I’m the bad one with the ice trays. Pman used to get fumed over it and say, “What, don’t you know the recipe?” LMAO!
But our new fridge has an ice maker…I got the recipe now, baby!
May 18, 2007 at 4:13am
Pecos Blue
I like craze’s comment a lot. I wish I knew too–the passive thing I resort too a lot but I think it really is better to take it head on.
Just to note we have set up a chalk board as the formal communication center and any request no matter how small must be wirtten down there or we are both allowed to forget. This has worked out well. : )
May 18, 2007 at 4:26am
Oh, The Joys
Ugh. That just drives me NUTS when it happens to me.
May 18, 2007 at 1:07pm
Kerry
I have to be honest, as soon as I read the title of your entry, I laughed out loud. Before even reading I said,
“forget it, it’s a lost cause” lol.
May 18, 2007 at 2:57pm
Christie
if someone ever tells you the secret to that mystery let me know.
Ugh…. try having a husband who has holes in his brain (literally) from years of drug abuse.
His memory SUCKS
May 18, 2007 at 5:13pm
mom of 2
Honestly I think men become immune to the sound of their wife’s voice. After 13 years of marriage that is all that I can come up with! I tell him all sorts of stuff then when it comes up again later he swears that I never told him…so irritating! However, I’ve used this to my advantage. When I want to do something and either forget or just on purpose neglect to tell him, I can just say I told you that a while ago. And since he never remembers what I told him then he doesn’t even know the difference! haha!!!!
May 18, 2007 at 5:59pm
Aimee
OMG Cece your “I’m I not important enough” comment makes me want to snuggle up with you and eat cookie dough while watching some horrible chick flick. I totally feel like that sometimes.
But really, I think men are just dumb. They are pretty self-centered and they know you are the one who normally takes care of stuff. He probably was thinking about work and driving and whatever else and just spaced out. But yeah, it’s sucky.
And I had that anger makes you work out good moment – I was on the elliptical and Mark was on a bike and I was just jamming because I was soooo cranky. and he was like, “do you always work out that hard?!” uh, no hunny. lol
May 18, 2007 at 6:00pm
Aimee
hehe, the stamp part cracked me up too – and seriously, you should start pinning notes to him like they do the kids at school.
May 18, 2007 at 6:45pm
Lindsey
I don’t get it. I will ask Edgar over and over to do something. I’ll be nice about it and not nagging. Finally I will get so pissed that I yell at him and they he says I’m nagging. I’m like, WHAT? I’ve asked you nicely and given you ample time to complete the task…and now it’s MY FAULT for nagging. Fuck no.
May 18, 2007 at 7:29pm
Cece
Mind, I’m going to give Mister the “ice” recipe tonight. lol
Pesco, I like the chalk board idea!
Joy, it DOES drive me nuts. Ugh.
Kerry, I know that is just one of life’s mysteries! lol
Christie, when I find out, you’ll be the first to know. I promise.
Aimee, you said cookie dough! lol I should really get mad at him more often, it seemed to have paid off this week. lol OMG I’m going to TOTALLY threaten to pin notes to his shirt next time he forgets! LOVE IT!
Lindsey, its us, not them. *rolling my eyes*
May 18, 2007 at 8:48pm
Augs Casa
HEY! I’m a man, and all I can say is in two words…Selective memory. Believe me, I have it too!
I only listen to thing I deem worth listening too. If you tell DraMa, I’ll have to hurt you.
May 19, 2007 at 1:06am
minijonb
let’s face it… we’re dogs.