I’ve got a question for you, Is it ok to date a friend’s Ex? Which is worse, dating their ex-spouse or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend? Or does it matter? If you feel its alright to date the ex of a friend are there rules to doing so? Do you feel you need to ask permission before doing it? Or do you just do it and give them a heads-up about it?
How would you feel if a friend of yours began dating your ex? Would you confront them or just turn your head? Would you turn against your friend because of it?
Finally, have you, could you or would you date the ex of one of your friends? Discuss.
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April 30, 2007 at 5:43pm
Nicole
I remember when I was a teenager a friend of mine hooked up with an ex of mine and I flipped shit on her. I didn’t find out by her either. I was beyond pissed and didn’t speak to her for such a long time, and only after she stopped seeing him. lol.
I don’t know that I’d care now in regaurds to a exboyfriend from awhile ago.
But I’m sure I would HATE it and not be able to be friends with someone if Josh and I got a divorce and they dated him, that’s just wrong. Friends can’t do that.
I don’t have an exact reason why, it just seems wrong. lol.
April 30, 2007 at 6:48pm
Samantha_K
I’ve been thinking about this. There is a guy that I’m considering going out with. I’ve known him for about 4 years-ish. However, his ex-wife goes to my church, and over the last 8 months or so, she and I have become friendly.Their marriage did not end well, and she readily admits it was her fault. But I am torn. She is remarried with a child, so it’s not like I’m invading her territory. They’ve been divorced for several years…and plus, I knew him before I knew her…I’ll let you know what I decide, lol.
April 30, 2007 at 7:00pm
The "Mind"
If a friend of mine started dating exhole, I would:
1. Laugh hysterically;
2. Send her a sympathy card;
3. Mostly stop talking to her because I know everything she says is going to go right back to him and some shit he just doesn’t need to know. I wouldn’t freeze her out or anything, I’d still say hi and stuff, but there would be no more girl talk stuff on my part.
April 30, 2007 at 7:04pm
Cece
Nicole, I thought the same thing, it wouldn’t matter if a friend of mine dated an exboyfriend, but my exhusband? Hmm… I guess it would depend on how the marriage ended.
Samantha, I’d LOVE to know how that works out for you!
Mind, same here. If a friend began dating my exboyfriend (Al) I’d feel sorry for her & feel obligated to let her know of is nasty ways.
April 30, 2007 at 9:34pm
BOSSY
Bossy’s been married for two billion years and will answer your question just as soon as she looks the word “dating” up in her dictionary.
April 30, 2007 at 10:08pm
Augs Casa
Peronally, I don’t think I’d like it if a friend dated an ex spouce of mine. An ex GF, no biggie, but my ex-wife, yeah it would bother me.
April 30, 2007 at 10:09pm
Craze
NO, I don’t think it’s EVER ok to date a friends ex. EVER. It’s called the Sister Rule.
April 30, 2007 at 10:15pm
Christina_the_wench
Hell I don’t know, Cece. I just want Mike Defino. Yummy.
April 30, 2007 at 10:37pm
Cece
Bossy, is dating not in The Married Persons Handbook? hmmm
Augs, I love my husband too much to let a girlfriend have a piece of that action. But wait. If I love him that much then he wouldn’t be my ex, now would he?
Craze, ITA. I think its just wrong, dude. Not to mention sort of icky. lol
Christina, I’m not into white boys, you can have Mike, just pass Carlos over here. Grrrr baby!
April 30, 2007 at 10:41pm
Sara
I think it’s a per situation thing. I have one ex that I would LOVE to see dating a friend of mine. He was a good guy, and we broke up amicably. Also, it’s been long enough that it wouldn’t sting at this point.
It’s hard to put a blanket answer on this, I guess.
April 30, 2007 at 10:43pm
Carrie
I should have been here earlier. LOL
I am the world’s worst about dating in circles. Actually my first love (Brandon) is Adam’s best friend. Brandon has also dated several of my friends. I’ve never thought twice about it. Also most of the guys I have dated are people I met from an ex-boyfriend. I’m weird. It is like keeping it in the family.
I look at it as, “well he wasn’t my lobster, maybe he is hers”. Traci (my life long ex-best friend) has dated or slept with probably every one of my exboyfriends and I never cared.
April 30, 2007 at 10:51pm
Cece
Sara, I have one ex who is dead, even though he’s nice he’s just not dateable! lol Then the other ex is someone I wouldn’t wish on a bad enemy! He’s nice, when he’s not on drugs. But his family is wack!
Carrie, I totally didn’t think about you. lol I forgot you’re a dirty whore! j/k Isn’t it odd/uncomfortable at times? I’ve met one of Mister’s exwives *god that sounds bad lol* and we’re just the Hi/Bye type of peeps.
April 30, 2007 at 11:05pm
The "Mind"
Cece, you’ll have to ignore Carrie’s answers…cousins marry in OK.
LMAO!
April 30, 2007 at 11:17pm
Cece
LMAO!
May 1, 2007 at 12:27am
Carrie
You whores! Actually it is one state over that allows that. We have a friend of a friend that married his half sister. Just went over the state line and did it. And they have a baby. Ugh! Everytime I think of that guy it freaks me out.
And yes Cece, I am a dirty whore. That is why I am so popular with the boys.
May 1, 2007 at 12:40am
Ms.L
I think regardless of what people think the rules are,or should be that it’s never a good idea anyhow.
For me too,it’s a matter of pride.
I’ve belonged to groups of friends where everbody but a select few had been with everybody else. Eww.
It was all a big joke to those of us,who managed to find mates and dates outside of the group.
May 1, 2007 at 12:47am
Cece
Carrie, that is just creepy.
Msl, they should’ve skipped the middle man & just kissed each other, huh? lol
May 1, 2007 at 1:35am
Aimee
yeah this is so not okay – either way. I wouldn’t date a friend’s ex nor would I be friends with someone who dated mine. It’s totally a matter of sloppy seconds.
I’m just sayin’
May 1, 2007 at 4:12am
Webmiztris
I wouldn’t give a shit if a friend hooked up with any of my exes. I’d feel bad for her (LOL) but I wouldn’t care…
and if I weren’t married and wanted to date a friend’s ex, I’d go for it if I REALLY REALLY felt we were compatible ONLY. otherwise, no, it wouldn’t be worth risking ruining the friendship for.
May 1, 2007 at 4:45am
Haley-O
If you’ve ever seen Laguna Beach or The Hills, you’d learn it’s an unwritten rule that you do NOT date you’re friends ex.
May 1, 2007 at 6:58am
Just telling it like it is
well there this the friend code.. all friends ex off boundries not matter what….
May 1, 2007 at 1:06pm
Kerry
Ready for this….
My mother’s friend was divorced when they met. The friend told my mother (also divorced) she’d get along with her ex. My mother ended up marrying the ex and they’re all friends now.
Bizarre, huh?
May 1, 2007 at 2:55pm
Lindsey
I would do what Gabby did and make all of our mutual friends go against that person.
I sort of feel that if a long time has passed and you talk it over with your friend ahead of time, not to ask permission, but just out of respect then it should be okay. But if the friend takes issue with it, then you could be in a situation where you have to choose between them.
I want Carlos and Gabby to get back together, by the way.
May 1, 2007 at 5:15pm
Beej
I think it’s fine, so long as the relationship ended. My best friend is with a guy that I used to be with. My husband hired a guy I used to be with. All is well.
May 2, 2007 at 4:18pm
Beth
Is it ok to date a friend’s Ex?
***No. If you consider someone your friend, it’s not okay.
Which is worse, dating their ex-spouse or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?
***I would definitely say if it was their ex-spouse. Marriage is a lot more serious, personal, and permanent than just dating someone.
How would you feel if a friend of yours began dating your ex?
***I would feel betrayed. I am an emotional person so anyone I’ve dated has had an emotional connection with me and to picture a friend of mine sharing that connection, or a sexual one…GAHHHH!!! NO! Bad friend! No friend no more.
Would you confront them or just turn your head?
***Bitch please, it would be ON. I would confront them on this. I don’t usually confront people on stuff but when it comes to this, I would say something. Something to the effect of, “You better run bitch, because mama knows what’s up.”
Would you turn against your friend because of it?
***It would never be the same between us, that’s fro sho.
Finally, have you, could you or would you date the ex of one of your friends?
***No, that’s so not cool. I wouldn’t want it done to me.