I’m going to tell you something. Last night I smoked.
Mister and I got into a pretty big fight (which is rare) and I ended up leaving, walking to the corner store, shaking and crying, and bought a pack of smokes. My mom came to get me after that.
After awhile my mom took me home, then Mister and I talked and worked things out before going to bed.
This morning I got up and threw away my $4.21 pack of smokes, of which there were still about 15 left in the pack.
You know, I thought the first hit would be yucky tasting and all, but it wasn’t. Well, maybe I had enough booze in my system to not notice the awful taste. lol But before I went to bed I did scrub and scrub my mouth with my toothbrush because my mouth was gross.
So I’m bummed. I fucked up. Now I’m deciding do I start counting my days without smoking all over again? Or do I continue and just chalk that up to one slip? I’m really feeling guilty about this. Seriously. This is bothering me more than our argument! lol
So there, I said I would be accountable to you people. Don’t hate me because I was weak.
14 comments
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April 29, 2007 at 10:12pm
Just telling it like it is
Okay one time and your labeled…
At least it was only cigarretts..it could have been worse…you could have walked to the corner store and drank an “old E”…
Just kidding…sorry about your fight…
April 30, 2007 at 1:25am
scribbit
Don’t beat yourself up over it, just forget about it and go on–
April 30, 2007 at 9:01am
Sara
First… how many ciggs are in a pack… or how many did you smoke? I think it makes a difference whether you “forget it” or start over. If it was one, I say forget it. More than one? I gota say start over…. just to be accountable to you.
Either way, don’t beat yourself up over it… we all have set backs with our vices from time to time… by throwing out the rest of the pack you already did the most important thing… getting back on the wagon.
{{{hugs}}}
April 30, 2007 at 3:48pm
Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom"
I don’t have you. Never.
It happens. I haven’t smoked in centuries and when I get upset or drink…(or both) I want to smoke. And sometimes I do.
April 30, 2007 at 4:33pm
mom of 2
No, don’t start all over again! You quit a while ago. So, you had a little slip…that’s all it was! Don’t beat yourself up…keep going!!
April 30, 2007 at 4:33pm
The "Mind"
Sara, there are 20 in a pack. So she smoked five.
I know it bothers you, but don’t beat yourself up over it. You tossed them and aren’t going back to smoking every day. Nope, instead you are going to pick up where you left off and move on.
April 30, 2007 at 4:51pm
shell
oh, dear. i totally understand. smoking is so hard to quit. don’t beat yourself up over it. you’re doing a great job. today is a new day. just try not to smoke today.
sending you happiness….hubby and i are fighting too. is there a full moon!?
April 30, 2007 at 4:54pm
Cece
Ok, I feel better today. Yesterday I felt like crap, but I know it was a drunk/emotion induced slip up and not something I’m doing again so I’ll just move on! lol
April 30, 2007 at 5:44pm
Gypsy
It was a slip — give yourself a break and get back in the saddle!
April 30, 2007 at 6:40pm
Augs Casa
jump back on that wagon!! one mess up doesn’t mean you can’t start all over again. Good for you for throwing away the rest of the pack, now that took guts!
April 30, 2007 at 10:38pm
Carrie
5 cigarettes isn’t a big deal because it was all in one sitting. If you smoked 5 cigarettes over a day or so then I would say start over. I wouldn’t worry over it. No biggie.
I am still so proud of you. You can do it. Just let it roll off your shoulders. At least you are being honest with us and your self.
May 1, 2007 at 2:52pm
Lindsey
So you slipped up, it happens. When people are trying to lose weight, don’t you think they slip up and binge a time or two? Just think of it like that. Stopping anything that you are addicted to is a recovery process. I would just forget about it and move on. You’re doing great!
May 2, 2007 at 4:50am
Chelle
Hey…you did NOT fuck up!!! Quitting smoking is damn hard…I’ve done it!!! You are doing the best thing so don’t beat yourself up. You had a couple smoke….big deal!! You fell off the wagon…hope right back up there
You are not weak…you are HUMAN 
May 2, 2007 at 4:19pm
Beth
Honey, you are human. Peeps make mistakes and I don’t even consider this a mistake. It’s not like you fucking switched babies on someone at the hospital. Sheesh!! Take it easy homes…and send me the pack next time.