Tonight begins the services for my grandmother’s funeral. Mister has been asked, by my Grandfather, to be a pallbearer. This means he had to run out and buy clothes for the services.

Saturday he’s out shopping and I get a phone call:

M: Hey, Babe! Can I wear brown shoes?
C: *thinking Oh fuck* To where, honey?
M: To the services.
C: Urrrr…do you think it would look ok with all black?
M: That’s why I’m calling you.
C: *shit* Ok, if YOU saw a guy dressed in all black and he had on brown shoes, would you talk about him behind his back?
M: *silence* I’ll call you back. *click*

PHEW! Fashion disaster diverted!

He comes home, on Saturday, with no shirt and shoes. Well, besides the ones he left wearing, that is.

So out to the mall he went, again, on Sunday. This time, upon his return, he has a new shirt! Woohoo! But no new shoes. WTF?

Well, that man of mine decides he’s not going to buy new black shoes. He says I’ll never wear them again, so why waste my money? For the record, he has black shirts that he could wear with jeans and black shoes to dress up a casual outfit. Wait. Do men have “outfits”? Oh, that’s a whole ‘nuther post isn’t it?

Anyway what he decides to do is paint polish his old brown shoes instead. He said he needs to replace the brown Sketcher’s anyway so after the services he’ll just throw them away.

Are you serious? Is what I asked him. Yes I am, LOOK! is what he said to me. And this, my friends, is what my husband has done to save a few bucks:

Niiiice. At this point, I don’t even care. I’m not going to be seen with him! lol I’m going to be riding with either my parents or my uncle because Mister will be taking his mom and our girls to an from the services.

Lord, help that cheapskate of mine.