Thirteen Childhood Memories

1. I remember learning the hard way that cats don’t like water. We lived on a street that would flood when it rained. I got hold of someones cat and thought it would be funny to drop it in the water. Not only did I not succeed, but I came into the house bleeding, crying and nursing puncture wounds. I know. I know. That’s what I get. Whatever. I think that is why I don’t like cats.

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2. We’ve always gone to my grandma K’s house on Christmas Eve. My uncle would be in charge of handing out gifts to us kids. That punk ass would make us wait, with gifts on our laps, until the clock hit midnight then we’d RIP into our gifts. We HATED that shit and were very happy when he upped and moved his ass to Oregon! Now I’M in charge of the gifts on Christmas Eve and that shit is over by 8:30!

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3. It was Halloween and I was about 5-7 years old. My dad dressed me up in Army fatigues and combat boots for my costume. Thanks, Dad.
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4. When my cousin, Robert, and I were little kids about 5-7 years old my grandma use to give us a dollar and a note then send us to the corner store to buy her cigarettes.

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5. Do you remember those roach clips with the feathers on them? My dad bought me one, a pretty one with purple in it, and my mom let me wear it, in my hair to school when I was in the 4th grade. Little did I know what the clip side was used for. I think it got taken away from the office lady. Bitch.

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6. When I was about 7-9 years old, our family took a trip to Tijuana, Mexico for the day and we ended up at a Bull Fight. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I can’t remember all the details, but I remember the gore in the arena and a fight that broke out in the stand of spectators due to too much tequila drinking! LOL

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7. I hated it when my grandma would make clothes for us. She would buy BIG ASS rolls of material and make outfits for my two aunts and I. The three of us are only a couple if years apart. Do you know what that means? It means we all went to school together. Which meant that we’d have to go in matching outfits! The humiliation of a 6 year old.

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8. I couldn’t wait for Saturday mornings so I could get up and watch the Smurfs!************************************

9. I remember the day I first touched the butt of a boy. I was in 4th grade and was chasing a boy, Conrad, at the park when I went to grab at his shirt, he got away and my hand grazed his butt. I was so excited and embarrassed. Of course that made me like, and chase, him more.

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10. When I was about 9-10 I had to go to church so I can make my Confirmation. That meant Sunday mass, too. Ugh. What made it easier to get up and go was the hot new Priest, Father John. Grrr baby! He was a young, hot, cutie of a priest. Nothing like the Monsignor we’d been listening to for 200 years! I’m so going to hell for that, aren’t I?

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11. When I was little I remember the first time I caught a glimpse of a porno movie. My dad was “babysitting” me, mom was at work, and he had friends over. He told me to stay in my room because the guys were going to watch a movie. He pulled out the projection screen & started a movie on a reel. I peeked and saw, on the screen, a man’s big white butt pumping away with a lady hooting & huffing under him. I quietly closed the door and went back to playing with my dolls. I don’t think I knew what I was seeing, but I must have known something or else why would I remember it all these years?

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12. I can’t remember the date or even the AGE I started my period. Does that make me a weird girl because I didn’t embrace it as a passing into womanhood???

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13. I’ve only been to the circus once, when I was a little kid. My grandfather took all of us kids. It sucked ass. I’ve never been so disappointed in a birthday gift in my entire life. Not only was it stupid, but I came home smelling like animal shit. Thanks, Grandpa.

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