The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma
from complications due to repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
in the food community turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.
Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemimah delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a
man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in
show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-
baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty
old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his father, Pop Tart.

A funeral was held at 3:30 for about 20 minutes, or until done.