Geeze Louise! Either there was a full moon last night or I had the worst case of raging PMS ever known to woman! Cramping all day. Nausea. Back ache. And 96 degrees at 5:00 when I’m leaving work, I already wasn’t in any mood to deal with any shit tonight.

I had to drive into Long Beach to pick up my pictures .{WTF was I thinking having them delivered to LB??} Not only was it about 20 minutes past my house, but I was rocking out to Mary J. in my car that I completely passed the CVS and ended up in Signal Hill. Ugh. Finally I found the CVS got in and out in a couple of minutes. Cool.

When I get home, its still hot. BUT I’m not complaining! I’d rather have a 96 degree CA summer than a 50 degree CA rainy winter! Dinner’s not ready when I get home. Glad I wasn’t really hungry tonight.

Now let me talk about the kids. I could’ve sworn when I gave birth to them that they came with all necessary parts to function correctly. Apparently, their brains are removable and I’ve been unaware of this for the past 4-8 years. They’re standing outside, like a couple of Dummies, while my niece soaks them with the water hose. But I can hear them yelling STOP IT! They obviously know they didn’t want to get wet, or knew they’d get in trouble for it. But why, oh why, did they just stand there like a couple of bookends? Finally, my sister goes out and grabs her child {who is now SCREAMING like a mad banshee} and sticks her in the house.

My soaking wet kids now come to the door, dripping, shivering {how can you shiver when its 96 degrees outside???}, whining and asking me to get them a towel. A towel? Are you kidding me? You stood there like a Dummy and let a six year old wet you with a water hose, now I’m watching TV with Mister for the only 2.5 hours a night I get to see him M-F and you want ME to get up and get YOU a towel just because I’m your mother and you couldn’t remember, be bothered to move or run when your six year old cousin was wetting you with a water hose?!? Pah-leeze! Are you serious? You’ve lived in this house for 7 years, you know where the towels are, get them yourself!

Finally the wet, dripping, Dummies come in to change. Mom, what do we do with our wet clothes? {Blank look on my face} What do you ALWAYS do with your wet clothes? {shaking my head}

Now I can hear the arguing in their room. WHAT’S GOING ON???? I’ve got the little one running around nekkid because she can’t find any underwear. If you’d LOOK in your drawer, you’d see about FIVE + pair sitting right there! Ugh. Then C gets dressed in BRAND NEW clothes. Why? Where do you think you’re going? You’re NOT going outside to play like that. Change. What does she grab next? A fricken TURTLE NECK SWEATER! {Another blank look on my face} Its still 96 degrees outside kid! We’re NOT in NZ!

After pitching a massive attitude fit because she can’t wear what she wants to, I make her take the dog out. Why the fuck not? She’s already pissed at me! What do we hear next? Her outside YELLING at the dog to hurry up and pee! I had had it by this point. I’m about to loose it, seriously. I’m still cramping and its still hot as hell. {almost in tears by now} He tells me Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it! {My hero!} He brings her in, sends her to the room for the rest of the evening. And gives me the dog so I can finish taking her out. {One more blank look} At least he kept the movie on Pause til Lucy was done with business. Thanks, Honey.

We didn’t see her for the rest of the night. D kept a low profile for the evening too. She didn’t want any of what her sister had just gotten. But the dog? Um, she’s not too smart. Her ass sat at the front door scratching, whining and crying to go out. Mind you, when I took her out, she took care of all business necessary. So she was just being a PITA because there was something on the ground the kids dropped that she kept wanting to lick. Ugh. Annoyed, Mister JUMPED off the couch and headed to the door towards the dog. I yelled DON’T SPANK HER! He swooped her up and crated her for the evening. A No No in my book, but I was not about to say anything. I didn’t want to end up alone in my room or in a crate for the rest of the evening too!

Finally, at 9:00, Mister went to bed, C was asleep, I let Lucy out for a bit, D was still awake with me and it was now only 89 degrees. I went to bed at 10:20 to catch up on my sleep. Fricken Lucy woke me up at 11:10 to go out. Bitch. Mister was snoring like a fricken bear. It was hot as HELL in our room. I wanted to sleep on the couch at this point. But I must’ve fallen asleep before I remembered to get up and go.

Can you believe I endured this all without the aid of a Miller Lite? I must’ve really been PMS’ing. Tonight? I see a few ML’s in my future.